I'd like to welcome Terris-Thules very first Greenmist! This SK weapon is truely spectacular featuring stats and ratio that rival that of their epics. With sparkly colors, shiny gems, and deadly blade, this weapon is sure to catch the eye of anyone who stands in a lizards way. Congratulations to Stalkerella! May it be used repeatedly to spill the blood of our foes.

GNOMES! I hate them! They should all be punted to the ends of the earth! Why oh why do we help out these deplorable creatures i'll never know! None the less, a most worthy gnome gave me head last night and in return we all went and helped him rip Ragefyre a new one. Who is this lucky gnome that now features a water sprinkler in his primary hand? Why, none other than Granpa! Congratulations on completing your cleric epic Granpa!
 

What! Necromancers don't get epics! Oh wait, I did. Nevermind! Hey umm, I LOVE YOU ALL *sniff*. What to say? It's just, I never thought it would happen to me. I'm so overjoyed, I think i'd just like to give you all a big hug!

/HUG!

If only my mom could see me now! I'd like to thank the academy, their confidence in me has shown throughout the years, and I just knew they were waiting for this day as much as I was. I'd also like to thank Daist, because without his Wizard i'd have had one hell of a time trying to complete my epic over night. Thanks also go to Penni, god I love that sexy cleric; Senn, who was there to play those extra characters we had logged in to do the rest of the quest with; Moneaone, cause by god he's just fun to punt; and Suntzua, cause haflings are fun to punt too.



Now, the top ten list of things to do with my epic!

• 10. Wave it around like a madman quaking like a duck, chanting Verant pwnz me!
• 9. Snare stuff.
• 8. Golf!
• 7. Bonk haflings on the head.
• 6. Demonic offerings to Cazic-Thule of dwarves.
• 5. DoT myself to death!
• 4. Punt Gnomes!
• 3. Dance with it.
• 2. Direct traffic.
• 1. PLEASURE WOMEN!

Its story time once again kids. Tonights tale is one deserving of the finest dwarven ale and the strongest elven wine. So break out the glasses, fill them with mead, enjoy the warm fire and let me tell you a tale!

Once upon a wizard, there was a mage with a bad tooth. Papa druid said to the mage, "Little mage, what for your bad tooth, how shall we fix this?". Such was the mage that he had a dentist for a mom. Mommy cleric said to the mage, "Little mage, for your bad tooth we must DRILL! and FILL! and top it with a crown!". Oh the horror! The agony!

"But Mommy cleric and Papa druid, the crown I need for my tooth is on the 7th isle in the Plane of Sky!" said little boy mage. "Then to Sky we shall go little mage! We shall devour our enemies, and get you your crown, but first we must find us a god who can summon corpses, for there is only one way to move our entire army through sky at once!" Said Papa druid.

"You mean the great god Crellin Papa druid? But I heard that he is all powerful, all knowing, and has an ego the size of an ogre! For certain he wouldn't trifle with the likes of us?" said little boy mage. Papa druid was very wise however and knew how to trick the great, all powerful, god Crellin. "Never fear little mage, Crellin is bound by Kazel himself to go forth in search of items that can only be found in the Plane of Sky, we shall promise him these gifts and then he will acompany us."

Papa druid was very wise indeed and the great god Crellin agreed hole heartedly to go forth with warriors of Papa druid's army. And so they went, the mighty army of the Shadow Council, up up into the heavens in search of riches beyond even Xaver's active imagination.

 

There is something wrong with Verant! They made enchanters far too powerful! The entire guild was charmed by a gnome today and forced against their wills to raid the Plane of Hate. Storming straight on up to the second floor mobs dropped like flies and loot dropped like rain in a desert. In other words, very rarely.

Now, don't let me forget to mention some other interesting things about this gnome that forced us all into hate. Not only does he fancy himself an enchanter, he also beleives he's a girl! Why, the only reason he forced us all up there was to go shopping! Sure enough, as soon as half the place was empty of monsters a Rainment of the Chosen suddenly dropped. Congratulations to our transvestite gnome on his new dress! Now, would one of you ladies please help him with his makeup, if he's gonna crossdress atleast make him look good.

RaR! Death to all who oppose the Shadow Council! Woushi, oh Woushi! Here boy! Some Dragons breath fire, others fear you and poison you to death. This one, well, this one just DIES HORRIBLY! He shant be bothering porters comming into WL for yet another weak. Peace be with you travellers!

Now lets see here, Moneaone, our short little puntball got himself a very nice toy to tide him over until he gets his epic. Enjoy your Crescent Blades of Luclin gnome! Congratulations to everyone on a fine kill!

 

Moving on to bigger and better things! This day marked our very first raid attempt on Derakor the Vindicator. We took our time learning how to pull this giants pets, as well as positioning for Vindi himself. All in all we got a lot of experience out of the battles and the end result was Vindi at 30% health on our final attempt. Never fear though, we had trouble with Innoruuk our first time out and as eveyone knows we went back and kicked his ass later on. The same will go for Derakor the Vindicator. Mark my words, we will one day return and slaughter him!