Now is a time to give thanks, so please sit back and allow me to share a few words of knowledge.

This is the time of year I think about what I'm thankful for. I'm thankful that I'm not a young kid
with cancer whose last wish was to spend time with Michael Jackson. Kid's are so stupid.
He should have asked for Paris Hilton, or that whore Christina Aguilera. Either way he would
have gotten his dick sucked.

I'm thankful for when I wasn't home when Scott Peterson called to see if I wanted to go fishing
with him last Christmas.

I'm thankful that when attending baseball games I'm smart enough to not interfere with the game
at play and that my name is not Steve Bartman.

I'm glad I only take cooking tips, not stock tips from my neighbor, Martha Stewart. Here's an
inside tip on Martha; she loves a good fisting, followed by being filled with a half gallon of milk...
and then fisted again till all the milk is pushed out.

I'm glad my sex tape with the Hilton sisters has not been made public. (It's not that exciting. It's just
Nikki laughing and pointing, while Paris rubs my back and assures me it happens to a lot of guys.)
Fuck you Nikki. Your handbags are all crap.

But mostly I'm glad I have you, my loyal Shadow Council guildies. Glad that at the end of the
month after blowing most of your paycheck on lube, donkeys, midget entertainers, you still have
something left over to pay for your EverQuest accounts...

BREAKING NEWS: from the Iraqi Information Minister



Click HERE to see the latest News Update from Baghdad! A little something I cooked up myself.

Drink news:
And for those of you who just can't get enough of that spectacular THANKSGIVING taste.. Click HERE